please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
