okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So much rum. So many feels.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
