i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
