Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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