I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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