he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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