TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
