she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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