I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
