why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
