his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
