Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
