If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
