the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
