too bad you live with your parents still
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
