some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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