yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
