At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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