He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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