So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
