I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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