I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
