yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
