So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So vagazzling was a success
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
