i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
