Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my being single is dangerous.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
