I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
