um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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