Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
