so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my sisters under your porch take her home
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
