If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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