you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
