when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
