My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
