I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
