week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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