yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
