it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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