it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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