guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
