i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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