They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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