Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Send help, water and tortillas.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
