I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
