forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
