Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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