I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
