Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
