i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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