What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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