we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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